I've always had zany ideas that burst out of an insignificant moment like a rabbit darting out from beneath a tree. It's been one of the trademarks of my personality, as anyone who's known me for some length of time can attest.

During my recent vacation in Radium, I was finally convinced by my partner to start recording these. No need to overcommit or make it a big thing. Just write it out, let it complete itself or remain incomplete, and let more people enjoy this.

I'm writing these moments as they actually occurred, but will modify or add new parts. These real-life snippets should never be taken as complete truth unless I explicitly say so. So, here's the first one.

-Locally Fallen Clouds-

He was talking about something really specific, I couldn't even really remember what, and I bit into the meringue. It was one of those plain white swirled ones from the local bakery, and I wasn't expecting too much amazement. I was wrong, and immediately interrupted him mid-sentence.

"Oh my god, I'm eating a cloud."

I crunched into another bite and he looked oddly at me.

"Doesn't sound like a cloud."

"Well, not like the ones you see in the sky." A beat just long enough that it seemed like I was done, and then: "This is from after they've fallen."

"What?"

"You know. The cloud gets old, it shrinks and hardens, and just falls. Lots of them around here. People go with trucks and break them down and bring them back for processing. The bakery here probably just chops them up into balls, swirls the tops, and calls them round meringues. Tagline, 'Carved from locally fallen clouds!'"

"Okay."

"Snow! It's not water, it's the death trail of old clouds!"

"Stop."

Public Awareness Facts about Clouds:

  • Six people are crushed to death by falling clouds every year. The low number of deaths is due to the relative lightness of clouds which most humans can escape from even after being struck, but certain weather can produce unusually dense clouds.

  • The largest intact fallen cloud is 45 metres at its widest, located just outside Nisku.

  • Fallen clouds as a natural attraction were re-popularized when Lady Gaga famously outdid Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball" performance by riding a still-falling cloud, guided by helicopters equipped with industrial fans, into the stadium for the premiere of her latest world tour.

  • A freak event was recorded by several observers in 1241 BCE, Croatia, where several unusually large clouds plunged out of the sky just as a Mongol army was advancing on horseback against European defenses. The resulting panic disrupted an already struggling invasion, and this event is credited for turning back the Balkan invasion and generally encouraging the Mongol horde to turn back. Without this, it is possible that some or all of Europe would have been overrun, altering world history.